Saturday, June 27, 2009

Momversation: Why isn't just being a mom enough?

I love It's a panel of mommy bloggers that get together, pose a question, and then a few of them answer it in video form in the "episodes." I highly recommend checking it out (particularly the one about telling your kids where babies come from...even my husband laughed out loud at that one).

One of this week's questions got me into that "I'm over tired and think I'm being really deep" mood, so here are my thoughts.

The Question: Why isn't just being a mom enough?

I'll admit to having said "just a mom" and not really thinking twice about it. Never in a derogatory way, mind you, but more like "I really want to be just a mom."

But, watching this episode, it occurred to me that what I do in my professional life is my "Just A." I'm Just A Billing Clerk in a law firm. If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, sure there would be the token sadness from my co-workers, laments from people who really don't like me now and couldn't care less as long as I get their bills right and out in a timely manner, but once I've died a tragic death, "wow, she was an amazing person." But then they'd hire someone to replace me, remember my many downfalls and obnoxious behaviors and move on about their lives.

I get hit by a bus tomorrow, and no one will ever replace me to my son. I have a wonderful family who would, of course, step up and help out my grieving husband (who would remarry for the sake of our son, but always remember me as his only true love and mourn my loss until the day he dies). But when he falls down on the playground, my son won't look for the new hire mommy. He'll still cry for me. No one will ever kiss it better the way I do. And not that I'm the end all be all of mommy existence, but I'm HIS mommy.

How can that ever be termed a "Just A" in life? Being a parent is the only irreplaceable job in the entire world. There's nothing casual or unimportant in that at all.


Kjersti said...

So, yeah. This blog made me cry. It's really well written and exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks Kelly!

Adrienne said...

So true--don't go dyin on me!

Danae said...

I second Kjersti's comment... but I didn't cry. I'm as hard as a rock... oh wait. No, that's someone else. Very well put!! It's nice to be 'everything' to some little person! I love the mornings when Isaac just wants me, 'Isaac don't want Tynna's... Isaac go to work, TOO!' Melts my heart and breaks it that I can't do just exactly that, stay home and take care of my baby boy.

Julia said...

man, kell, just what i needed to read. i'm currently in a slump of "just a..." and this helps put things in perspective so thanks for the post.

with that said-- UPDATE YOUR BLOG!
love ya and stuff.